Valentines Day as the Single Friend
Confession: I, in all twenty two years of my life, have never had a Valentine. As somebody who loves the idea and the aesthetic of Valentines Day, this kind of sucks. Of course there's a Galentine's day celebration. My friends and I always plan to do something around this time of the year, but as more and more of my friends get into relationships the more this celebration gets pushed to the back burner. Coming to terms with my rather anticlimactic love life was not easy. In fact, I still don't think I have come to terms with it. It's frustrating, upsetting and anxiety inducing. Some people have the relationship thing so easy, but for me, this may be harder than getting my college degree.
When having discussions about this with my friends I always get told, “I promise you aren't missing out on anything, having a relationship is a lot of work,” and sure, that may be true. But seeing how happy my friends get when they are their significant others makes me think as if I am missing out on something. My curiosity of wanting to know what it feels like to be loved in that way is huge. Instead, I end up reminding myself it is normal to crave the things you feel are missing from your life. It’s a part of human nature to not feel satisfied with what you currently have. After a long and lonely twenty two years I still feel very dissatisfied. It has gotten to a point where I think the universe isn't fair for giving me an unfortunate love life. Despite this feeling, I refuse to let my bitter emotions sabotage a day that is dedicated towards love.
I have already come to terms that I will be spending my Friday night alone. Although this is something I don’t do often, it's something that needs to be done every now and then. Being able to spend time with yourself is such an important thing to learn how to do. To fill the void of not having somebody show you love, you need to show love to yourself. As much as I want to say my night will not consist of me pondering why I may not be good enough for a romantic relationship, I would be lying. To help suppress those feelings I have designated Friday as my self care night. Taking the time to make myself look good always makes me feel good, and on a day such as Valentines it is much needed. Aside from the basic long hot shower, face mask, and manicure I also am going to treat myself to a nice meal. Whether I am doing brunch at a new restaurant I want to try or even cooking a fancy meal at home, is still unknown- but the thought of spoiling myself is known. Romanticizing my life is the answer to the majority of my issues. Buying flowers? Trying a new cafe? Window shopping in a clothing store? The options are endless. Why feel upset about something when you can spoil yourself and make everything better.
Nobody knows you better than yourself. Why rely on somebody else to make you happy when you can do it yourself. Yes, it will sting knowing that another Valentine's Day is being spent on the couch, but there are many ways to look past the downsides and make the night one to remember- regardless of who you are with. Learning how to become satisfied with yourself, especially when you are alone is such an important key to making all relationships in your life successful. I will still be upset I still don't know what Valentine's Day with a partner will feel like, but for now I am my own partner.
