Single, Dating, and Working on Yourself During a Pandemic
Chances are at some point in this last year and a half, you felt lonely. This loneliness likely pushed you to consider your relationships. If you are or were in a relationship during this on going COVID crisis, that relationship looks unavoidably different than it did pre-COVID. Maybe you realized the relationship wasn’t meant to last through the hard times. Or maybe you realized all the reasons you never want to lose your partner. If you’re one of the 50.2% of American adults who are currently single, this evaluation of relationships was likely a lot of self or internal evaluation, leading you to one of two conclusions:
1. You’re happily single and/or need to be single to focus and work on yourself.
OR
2. You’re more ready for a relationship or companionship than you realized.
As fall 2021 looms closer and COVID still remains an imminent threat, dating (or not dating) is perhaps more daunting than ever. It is not wrong to still be thinking about love or meeting someone during a time like this. Below I have provided tips for those in relationships, dating, and working on themselves, based off my own experience of dating during these unprecedented times.
For those in relationships:
Check in with each other often! If you happen to live together this might happen more naturally, but make sure you’re both on the same page with how comfortable you are with going out or attending gatherings, especially as guidelines fluctuate.
If you’re not comfortable dining out or spending time in public, set up regular virtual or at-home dates. Sometimes staying in is more intimate anyway.
Regardless to how comfortable you are, stay up to date with your local mask guidelines and suggestions!
For those who are single, but searching:
For once, dating apps might actually be your friend. They give you a chance to talk to a potential partner without giving out any real contact information. Where pre-COVID dating meant just showing up and getting to know someone face to face, not everyone you encounter will be comfortable with the same amount of in-person contact. So talking about where you stand in terms of masks and vaccines before your first date will be a huge help in avoiding any confusion or awkwardness.
Again, the virtual date is a great option! Its super easy to plan a cute facetime, zoom, or skype date. Maybe plan to order food from the same place! Or screenshare a movie! There is also nothing wrong with just picking up the phone and seeing where a first conversation goes naturally. There is also a great deal of safety concerns and potential first date stress eliminated with this option.
For those who working on themselves, single or not:
Figure out what is missing in your life. There are hundreds of ways to remedy that missing feeling once you’ve figured out what it is. If you’re someone who previously devoted all of their time to work, this is a good time to ask yourself what you can do to relax. If you feel your unhappy with the direction of your life, there is no better time to re-evaluate.
In truth, there is no recipe for growth and progress that works for everyone. For some it will be just making time to meditate or take baths. For others it will be committing to spending more time outside or making an effort to read more. Some might want to change eating habits or step out of their culinary comfort zone. It never hurts to talk to a therapist. Working on yourself does not have to be in huge steps or long-winded mile stones. Nor is working on yourself a phase you must get past. It can be a daily practice or a small thing you want to make a conscious effort to do more. Give yourself a break, but hold yourself accountable for the change you want to see in yourself.
